Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Birthdays in Heaven...




With loss there is such incredible heart ache,

grief and sorrow.

We as a family mourn the loss of three of our precious 'gems'.

If you had asked me before this season,

 when this time would come,

 I would have never imagined it would be so soon.


Just 2 months after opening our doors,

we would be awoken to screams of, "He's not breathing!!"

CPR was administrated and as we rushed to the ER,

 we would tremble with grief as our youngest Arthur passed away in my arms.





Then just a month later in October,

 three months to the day our home opened,

we would be preparing for the burial of our sweet Jason.



~
Our hearts ached yet again in March when our Elisa passed away.


So soon our hearts and arms would ache for three of our precious boys.

Seeing their empty cribs and longing for one more snuggle and kiss goodnight.

Losing a child leaves a terrible ache and sorrow,

unlike any pain I've ever experienced.

It leaves a raw empty place inside your heart.

and as we ache with the loss of their earthly bodies,

 we cling to the hope of someday holding our sweet boys again!

We rejoice that their bodies no longer restrict them in pain.

That they no longer suffer from seizures.

Yet we cry and we grieve.

I dream of what it's like for them to finally walk for the very first time.

Oh heaven - somedays you seem so very far away.

As we grieve,

we remember the special moments we shared.

~
Speaking recently with Jason's nanny,

she shared with me that inside of her heart it aches so terribly.

Some days when she thinks about him her body shivers with grief,

so much so that speaking about him hurts and leaves a raw pain.

~

Oh my precious Jason you were so very, very loved.

Just weeks before we would have been celebrating

Jason's seventh birthday party he met Jesus.

Never would I have imagined that he wouldn't

get to celebrate his special day with him.

~



Today marks another birthday in heaven.

Today our precious  and ever-joyful Elisha would have turned six years old.

I can only imagine what a birthday is like in heaven,

healed and whole.

No more pain, laughing and running like he longed to do!

What a sight it would be to see!

And today,

We Remember.

We will make the cake and we will celebrate.

Because we choose Joy for the life Elisha lived -

for the life our precious Jason and Arthur lived.

And we remember.

Because my sweet boys you won't ever be forgotten.

So privileged am I to have loved you if only for a short while.





Sometime back after the loss of my first baby, God gave me this verse

and it brings so much comfort to my heart.

If you or someone you know has known the grief and loss of a child or a loved one,

I pray that this brings your heart healing and comfort.

"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you" 
-Isaiah 66:13

I love you my precious Arthur, Jason and Elisha.

You, my boys, are missed with every single breath.

Dance with Jesus my sweet boys.

Dance.

Xoxo

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