My sweet baby boy.
I never thought I would be writing this post.
I had so many dreams for your future.
Pictures I wanted to take, stories I wanted to share with you.
To see you get your first tooth.
To watch you take your first step.
To chase you while you ran.
So many moments I longed for, yet I will never get to see.
My heart is aching...I've never known such sorrow and grief.
I'm choosing to remember and cherish every precious moment that I had with you.
I don't know why your life was so short.
For one so small you left an impact the size of the universe on each of our hearts.
Every person you came in contact with fell in love with you.
You are now in the arms of Jesus and I can't think of a better place to be.
You no longer struggle to breathe but now my sweet boy you breathe heavenly air.
I long for the day I will be able to see you face to face.
Although my earthly body hurts without you,
I rejoice that someday my sweet boy I'll carry you
Heaven is so much sweeter knowing you're there.
From the moment I held you in my arms my life was better just because I had you in it.
We shared a special bond - I'd lovingly called you "my best accessory".
The nannies would tease me when they'd hand me "my baby"...
Never far from my arms or my reach you loved to be carried in my sling
I loved having you there.
When the day would finish I'd go and bring you in my arms where we'd cuddle
and I'd feed you your night bottle of milk.
Many nights after an exhausting day we'd fall asleep on the couch only to
have someone snap a picture to tease me later.
Now those very pictures bring me to tears.
It's those little moments that make me miss you the most.
Missing you makes it hard to breathe.
Oh my sweet boy I loved you so very much.
Every fiber of my being hurts without you.
You even attended my little brothers wedding as we skyped in the middle of the night.
You, my baby boy, were never far from my side.
Just two weeks ago we painted your foot prints together.
Little did I know it would be the last art project we'd share.
You would make me laugh with your expression when you felt the paint on your sweet baby feet.
Oh my sweet baby boy how I long to hold you just one more time.
To kiss those precious baby cheeks and stare into your most beautiful brown eyes.
You my love were perfect in every way.
I am so humbled that God would allow me to carry you for two precious months.
I will cherish the memories and moments that I held you.
You showed me how to love deeply.
For that I am eternally grateful.
I pray that my heart doesn't grow calloused to love, but instead loves deeply and fiercely.
Because my sweet Arthur you are worth every painful breath, every sob and every tear.
You are worth it all and even more.
My sweet baby boy I will love you forever and always.
I will always carry you in my heart...
Until I hold you again.
all my love.
"As one whom his mother comforts,
so I will comfort you..."
Thank you for all your love and prayers.
We can feel each and every one.