Friday, January 28, 2011

breaking in places.

Before every trip,
I pray a prayer like this:

Dear Lord,
Break my heart for what breaks yours,

Give me your eyes for the broken hearted.
Give me your love for the hurting.

Give me your love for the orphans.

Help me to be able to touch them.

Help me to be able to Love them.

Everything I am is yours.

Use me God.

My heart was broken.

It is broken in so many pieces from this trip.

Sometimes I don't understand why it always has to hurt so much.

But if it is not hurting how else would I know He's breaking my heart a little more?

In a few more places.

Using me more.

Working through me.

Using the circumstances, the things I saw.

To change me, but not just me.

To change others.

For me to come home with stories to tell all of you.

To show you all how you're needed there.

To show you that God is calling you to come.

That He needs more people to hear.

To hear about the people with the hurt in their eyes.

To hear about the prostitute who God is changing.

To hear about the little boy in the striped shirt.

To hear about the little orphan crying.

To hear.

To simply just hear.

So that you can pray.

So that you can go.

I think that's why my heart was broken.

I can tell HE is going to use my pain.

I don't think it can ever be whole again.

I'm broken in many places.

being torn apart.
But its a good feeling.

knowing that because of my pain,

More orphans will be held.

More orphans will be loved.

More orphans will know someone cares.

More children in the village will know that there is a God.

More prostitutes will be saved.

More children will be sponsored.

More people will come to know Jesus as their savior.

Oh Yes.

It's worth all the pain in the world.

Break my heart more God.

Break it More.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

My sisters

I love, love, love my baby sisters Jubilee and Elizabeth.
They mean the world to me.
They make my life happier and more crazy!!
They love to snuggle and play dollies.
They love doing makeovers and nail polish.
But most of all they love to cuddle.
A few days ago they asked if they could do my hair.
So they set to work.
and they worked and they worked.
Till tangles were many and knots were everywhere.
But they loved there master piece and then they quickly turned it into pigtails.
And to show off there handy work we took some pictures on the computer.

Aren't they just the cutest?

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My very first missions {trips}

I was flipping through some old pictures a few days ago and it made me remember my very first missions trip...The story goes back to my sisters wedding four and a half years ago:)..We were in California when my family met Erik...We ended up talking to him and found out he was the assistant director of an orphanage south of Tecate, Mexico.

In school I had been working on Spanish and was actually quite good. So when we found out he was in Mexico we decided to pack up the family and go for a missions trip and scout out for taking a team to Casa Celestial {the Orphanage that Erik worked at}...

I fell in LOVE with Mexico and the people and kids... So did my family. We went as a family, back then it was just my parents, me and Graham and Liberty - everyone else was already out of the house...

Time after time we went back that year! We fell in love with the kids. It was just a 17 hour drive so we decided to go for are vecation and just some weekends
And even once when my Dad was gone to a conference in Texas, my crazy Mom loaded us in the car and off we went to Mexico to work at Casa Celestial for the week. Just my mom and the three of us kids. Some would say she was crazy for driving us all there 17 hours by herself to work for the week...but really it provided amazing memories and what an adventure! :)
We had a blast!!
Liberty, who tans so well, that everyone there would talk to her in Spanish cause they thought she was Mexican! haha :)

My mom and I would work in the kitchen and the cook named Abby would teach us more Spanish and we tried to teach her English (so fun)...Liberty would play with the kids and Graham would play soccer with the older boys...After I'd been going for awhile to work there I became the older sister or role model to the two little girls there named Marilu and Lorena who were toddlers. They followed me everywhere. If I walked this way they did, if I jumped they did, if I went in the kitchen they did. I mean they were everywhere I was..I miss those girls... My mom became the Mom to lots of the kids...Dad worked on the church plant and became a Dad to many of the kids.
After we had ministered there many times things fell through for the Orphanage with the government and the Orphanage was shut down... My heart still grieves for the loss of it.

Time after time my heart aches for the loss of the kids who I loved so much.....I miss you Lorena, Patchanco, the twins Pepe & Eric, and Estrella, Eskay, Enrique, Dalai, Marilu...and all the rest.

Monday, January 24, 2011


Ever wanted to make a difference in an orphan's life?
Ever felt burdened for that one baby's face you saw in a magazine?

My heart is heavy with the babies I saw in Uganda

who are not adoptable at the moment.

I want to see them set free.

I want to see them adopted.

I want to see them being hugged and kissed goodnight by a mommy and daddy.

My heart grieves thinking about the babies that I left behind.

The babies who I am not there tonight to tuck in as they go to bed.

The babies I am not there tonight to hold and love.

The babies I am not there tonight to snuggle and wipe away there tears!

The babies I left.

It was the hardest moment of my life

as I hugged my baby Edith goodbye and told her "Un Kwagala Nyo" (I love you).

She knew I was leaving her.

She threw her dolly down that I had just given her.

And raced after me as I saw the nannies shut the gate.

Her tears pouring down her face.

Her cry echoing in my head as I left.

Days later I can still hear her crying as I leave.

And my heart aches and aches.

I miss her.

I miss all the babies that I left behind.
So tomorrow I am fasting.

I am fasting for kids all over the world to be released.

To be able to be adopted.

For families to rise up and adopt.

For families to cast down there fears and worries and step up for the orphan.

I am fasting for my babies I left.

"God can make a way when there seems to be no way"

Fasting when: Tomorrow - Tuesday January 25th, 2011

For: The Orphan

Matthew 18:20

"For where two or more are gathered in my name, I am there in their midst."
Please, please, please will you join me?

Saturday, January 22, 2011

What a name means in Uganda.

(walking in Ssenge village with some friends beside us is the school the team painted)

In Uganda a name is simply not just a name.
A name means more then you would have ever thought.
A name means something special.
A name is a title.
A title to what your relationship with that person is.
I personally am not very good with names.
I forget easily and struggle with remembering.
So now I pray that God will help me remember them.
Because in Africa it means the world to these people.

What a name means:
A name means you care about them.
A name means you love them.
Remembering a name means you think they are important.
A name means you are Friends.

It's funny to think a name can mean all those things.

To someone you have barely met.
But it does.
When you know someone by name they become important to you.
When you think about him/her name you begin to love things about that person.
As soon as you know their name you care about them.
Having them remember your name makes you friends.

When I walk through the village
and hear "Mzungu" (white person)
It is just what they call every other (white person)
But its totally different
when I walk through the village and hear "Emmamarie"
My whole heart changes because it is my friends calling me.
It is someone who loves me.
Someone who thinks I am important.
Someone who cares about me.

Its funny how if you meet someone you have met before and they can't remember your name it puts a distance between you. But if they remember it changes everything.
It says in bible that God knew your name before you were made.
If God can remember billions of people's names
I think I can remember a few hundred:)
I'm just saying.

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you;I have called you by name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1

So next time you meet someone try to remember there name
something so small can mean the world to them.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Boy in the Striped Shirt part 2

In Uganda I wrote and told you all the story of the boy in the striped shirt
"Chivate" and his brother who are orphans.

They live in the slums.
Just like the other kids in the slums:

each day life is filled with just trying to survive.

Each day life is filled with wanting someone to love them.
Every night they go to bed with out a Mom or a Dad to tuck them in.
Many of you wrote me and my Mom and asked if they were adoptable.

At the moment they are not - I looked into it while I was there.
A leader of the feeding program has taken them in and been taking care of them for now.

Someday down the road hopefully, Lord willing, they will be adoptable :)

I fell so in love with him as he cuddled in my lap.

Longing for love.

He snuggled closer trying to get as much love from me holding him can give.

He willingly let anybody hold him.

Just wanting some love.

My heart is broken for him and his brother.

He is so little to face the world without a Mommy or a Daddy.

Without a big sister to hold him and spoil him.

He is 3 yrs old.

Weights probably 14 pounds.

He is tiny tiny.

So skinny.
So sad.
He is hurting.

If you could pray with me that both him and his brother would be able to be adopted and find that love and also find the love of Jesus! As he gets older that he would forgive his Mom for hurting him and be able to accept the love of a Mommy again.

My heart is broken for him.

Is he at the feeding program today?

Is he being held by a volunteer or are things so busy that he is not noticed?

Please pray for him and his brother today.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Run over by a Semi truck.

Since leaving Uganda just a couple days ago,

I am constantly changing the times to see what time it is in Uganda.

I look at the clock take away two hours and change it from am to pm or reverse.

I think about it and think about the babies at the baby home...

The babies are eating.

The babies are sleeping.

The babies are at pre-school.

The babies are outside playing.

Is it raining or is it chilly?

Do they remember me coming everyday and look for me?

Do they miss me?

Does Edith realize I am not coming back for a few months?

Do they look up every time someone white walks in and wonder

who they are and are they from Emma's team?..

Do the nanny's wish we were still there to help?

Aghhhh, it's driving me crazy.

I can see the tears falling down her face as I said goodbye.

I can see the doll I gave her that she threw on the ground as she watched me leave.

Ohhhh how my heart is aching.

I feel like it was run over by semi truck.

I miss you.

I am coming back.

Hold on darling.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

5 little munchkins in my bed

This morning I woke up
But I am not in Uganda anymore I am
I woke up with 5 little munchkins in my bed..
I guess that means they missed me:)
Slowly all night long they came and climbed into bed with me..
And fell asleep..So precious.
My heart is breaking for those I left behind - all my babies and kids I love.
but it's also happy for I missed my little brothers and sisters and my Mom.
My last days in Uganda the internet was out so I wasn't able to post.
I have so many more stories to tell that will break your heart as you hear them.
All the goodbyes I had to say all the tears that followed.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The boy in the striped shirt...

Today we went into the slums for a feeding program.
Where we hung out and loved on the kids and then fed them lunch!!
There was probably 100+ kids

But there was one little boy in a little striped shirt I fell in love with.
His name is Chivate
I am in love with him!

He is almost four and looks like he is 18months old.
He is sick with a cough and a runny runny nose.
He has a little brother who's leg was broken and will never ever heal.
It is stuck like that,due to the way it was treated it is turned in.

The two brothers were abandoned by there mother.
Just left in the slums.
I held Chivate for a lot of the feeding program..
He snuggled me and I held him close and kept kissing his forehead.

I then realized it he doesn't have a Mom and a Dad.
They abandoned him.
They are Orphans with no one to take care of them.
My heart is breaking..
When I was leaving I had to set him down and tell him goodbye.

Tears were streaming down his face and he was crying and crying.
It hurts my heart so badly..
He is alone tonight with his brother and no one to hold him.
I can picture him snuggled next to his brother in that little mud hut.
His heart aching for a Mom and a Dad.
His heart aching for a family.
His heart aching for someone to love him and to care.

....My heart is aching for them....

If you think of it pray tonight for the little boy in the striped shirt and his brother..

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

In LOVE with HER!

I am so in love.

Yes in love.

In love with you may ask?!


Who's her??!

Meet my baby Edith
Finally I have waited so long for the pictures to finally be able to upload all the way from Uganda!!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

The hair ties...

sometimes we take things for granted..
But some things are not things you would typically notice
as being something you could take for granted.

Today I realized what "somethings"
I don't realize or picture it as taking it for granted
such as

Having clothes to wear.
Going to school.

My family.
Having the privledge of having a Mom or a Dad.

Having a roof over my head.
Having a grandma.
Being alive.
Having alive family.
Somewhere safe to sleep.

the last few days I have noticed these things
and realized how privileged I am.

Like when today at church
we had kids come up to us asking us to pray
for them to have school fee's so that they can go to school.

When all the time at home people complain about school.
When really in reality we HAVE THE PRIVILEGE TO GO.

and then there is the street mom and daughter I saw as I was walking the street.
who had nothing...
they had ripped clothing.
No food.
No water.
No Home.
No safe place to sleep.

And I have the privilege to have food
to have water.
to have a home.
to have a safe place to sleep.

My heart just aches as I picture them forever imprinted in my mind.
I handed them the rest of my water bottle.... and they were so blessed and excited.
To have just water..

Then there is the the African Hearts Leaders.
Who told us there testimony.
... Like Junior...
Who's Mom died of AIDS.
Who's Sister died of AIDS.
Who's Brother died of AIDS.
Who's DAD died of AIDS.
Who's Auntie's died of AIDS.

Sometimes we don't realize how big of a blessing it is to have a family.

...Then there is my sweet Friends Rachel and Peace..
From Ssenge Village.
They are so sweet.
I have watched Rachel grow up since 2008
she is now 5.
today I met her friend
little Peace who is also 5
They sat next to me the whole church service.
Holding my hands.
They kept rubbing my arm
and playing with 2 hair ties on my arm for me to put my hair up later with.

Then I realized it.

How I take for granted even my little hair ties.
My little things you don't think about.
like my hair ties.
I have learned on this trip how I want to be that girl who gives.
who doesn't hold back
and say well I need that in case I get hot and want to put my hair up.

I want to be that girl who gives with out holding anything back
who gives everything.

If someone is hungry I give them food.

If someone is thirsty I give them water.

If someone needs clothes I give them mine.
Really I want to give everything away.
No more holding back
No more worrying about money
No more
No more

after awhile I realized how they just really adored my little hair ties.
Really they loved them.
I slipped them off my wrist and put one on Rachel's hand and one on Peace.
It was like I had given them the world.
And in reality it was just a little hair tie.
How much I have taken for granted.

From now on I will give and give and hold nothing back.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Those two special words..

Tonight I went down to sanyu babies home
My heart was melted.

You see Josh and I
had noticed that none of the lightbulbs had been working.
They are up really high
and in Uganda there is no such thing as like a ladder
so Josh and I decided to go buy some and replace the broken lightbulbs in the
eating room.
sleeping room.
and changing room.

we counted how many we needed and decided to go buy some
We got there this evening and went right to it putting them in..

Josh had to stand on the changing table, then put a chair on top
and then stand on the chair on his tipi toes
to change the lightbulb.

Then in came Gideon.
He is about 3 years old.
And soo precious.
He knows every baby's name at the baby home.
He is such a good english speaker and talks and talks and talks!!

I picked him up as we watched Josh change the lightbulbs.
He looked up at me and said...

"Mama Emma"


"Mama Emma"

It was so darling and makes me realize how much he must long for a Mama.
How much he must long for a family.
How he has watched his friends be taken and still he waits.
and waits.

My heart is breaking

Dear God please bring sweet Gideon a family!

Friday, January 7, 2011

A letter from to my mom...

Goodmorning or afternoon mom!!

I hope your feeling more rested and could sleep. How are the kids today? I miss them all sooo much.

I feel like God is really teaching me to love on this trip. Like I know how to love but not like God does. I really want to make a difference in the way I love and I want to give and give until I have nothing to give and then still find a way to be generous.

I am going to tell you about the babies I am in love with from Sanyu...

Like tonight I met this little girl named Rebecca.
She was sitting in the baby home all alone. She is probably 2years old.She is new. And so sad she was sitting all alone on the bench with her hands clasped in her lap. She was so sad..So I tried to hold her hand and still she was to sad to hold my hand. So I picked her up and held her she couldn't even look at me in my eyes. She is so unloved. You can tell thats how she has always been. And I started to think how I want to be that girl who makes an impact in her life for even just a day of love she will have felt special she will have felt loved. And cared about. She will have felt wanted and loved for the day. I want to bring her home and make her smile.

Do you remember little Faith I talked about from Sanyu? I had a picture of her and Josh and I holding her last summer and she was so sad like Rebecca. Now she has gained weight you can hardly tell it is her. And she brings such joy to the baby home!

Also there is Edith..Mom she looks like Beth. She looks just like Beth as a baby. Exactly the same.She has a belly like Beth and she is soooo short. She runs around laughing and smiling I want to bring her home too. I can just imagine her and Beth playing together.

Then there is Esther. (I know you want that name for a little girl and she melts my heart but so do the other girls)
She is special needs she was malnourised and needs a family badly. She is 3 now. And big and has gained weight. Due to her malnourishment she is just now learning to walk. She is like a new baby learning to walk. Except she is big. She was beaten before sanyu and so she flinches when someone touches her. She is happy. And desperatly needs a loving family.Seriously I want to bring her home too.

Then there is my Watson.
He is darling and he has an eye problem. He has a problem with his nose everytime he eats it comes out his nose. Its so strange. I am in love with him. He sat on my lap and wrapped his arms around me. His little arms could only barley touch my back but he wouldn't let go.
So I think I will bring him home too.

I am in love with these kids
My heart is braking on how they dont have familys.
I want to love Rebecca. So that she may feel love even for just one day. I am going to try to show as much love as I can give.. Can you imagine that to love
one even for just one day. And see the difference it will make...

Yes my Ugandan missionary american friend Elijah has been with us every work day. He comes to the land with us. He is doing a great Job helping out and painting a ton.Today his parents came to see what we are doing there. They are the Ugandan side- directors for an orphanage with 94 kids! We hope to go visit.

Well its time for bed!
I love you mom!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Uganda Uganda you smell so sweet?!

The fan is blowing in my face..
I am laying on my bed exhausted.

But a good exhausted its an awesome feeling.

The kind you get when you have traveled and traveled for 4 days straight.

The kind you get after a long day of hard work of sanding and painting until your hands start to have the forming of blisters.

Yes yes this kind of exhausted is good!

It makes you know your alive.

It makes you know yes yes your here in Uganda.
Where you have longed to be for so long!!

Where you worked hard and saw God provide and provide.

Yes yes this exhausted awesome feeling is the feeling of being here..
In my Uganda.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Dubai bound

We are about to take off for Dubai!!
The team is amazing I am in love with everyone on the team!! This truly is a God anointed team.
Well I know its short but the guy over the loud speaker is calling me to board.Please keep praying for safety for our team!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Flights and the journey! Happy New Year!

I can't think of a better way to start off my New Year

then with heading to Uganda for my 5th time just tomorrow!!

Around four in the afternoon we will drive to Albuquerque New Mexico.

Then early on Monday morning we will fly out to Houston Texas

Then from Texas we will fly to Dubai...

We stay over night in Dubai and then early on the 5th we will fly out to Uganda!!

I'm so excited I can't believe its finally here!!

I'm almost back in Uganda!!

I plan on posting every day once I'm in Uganda!

I might miss some of the traveling because I am not sure I will have Internet:)

Please Keep us in your prayers as we begin are journey tomorrow!!

What is your New Year going to be like any crazy adventures to kick it off?

Wishing you a very very

Happy New Year 2011!!